my beard: a love story
from approximately the time that kay delivered me the beardhead from tak, i started growing a real beard. here’s the progression that it took from start to finish.
july 8: no shaving for 2 weeks.
july 28: some definite itching and scraggly looks.
august 1: starting to look pretty cool with sunglasses.
august 21: looking REALLY sexy with sunglasses.
august 23: getting even scragglier but lovin' it.
september 8: the peak of overall shagginess.
at this point, i got tired of blowing my nose and having snot and kleenex bits getting stuck in the moustache so i went with the goatee only look.
september 18: pirate ship means pirate beard.
september 22: by this time, pieces of food were regularly sticking in the beard.
september 24: i really did have to resort to making a conscious effort NOT to get food in the beard. the teriyaki sauce on this dango woulda been bad news.
october 3: classy event, even CLASSIER beard. actually, i almost shaved it for this event but i couldn't do it.
october 11: it's really getting uneven and lopsided by now but on i truck(er).
october 23: i began contemplating the beard as a warming device because disney was pretty cold that night.
october 31: i ALMOST got it all in the rubber hair tie.so close to beard nirvana.
at this point, mickie made an ultimatum: trim the beard or no kissing. i did what any self-respecting guy would do: trimmed it JUST to the point where she backed off the ultimatum but still kept some of it to make me feel like i was still in control. i wasn’t.
november 5: still eating in a way to keep food from getting in the beard, even though i didn't need to anymore.
november 13: at this point, the beard is just a shell of its former, glorious self.
december 10: i'm starting to get tired of the small goatee. give me a full beard or give me death!
december 23: instead of either, i adopt the landing strip beard. good look, yes?
december 23: in actuality, the landing strip was just something i wanted to try in the process of shaving the whole thing off.
you see, mickie had offered me $100 a year to shave off the beard and NEVER GROW IT BACK! it was too good a deal to pass up so here we are at the end of this 6-month love story. R.I.P. geoffrobeard: june 24~december 23
The October 11th picture is intense. You look like you have a Jay Leno chin. I’d like to say I’m jealous, but after thinking about it, I’m not.
Louie
March 1st, 2011 at 11:11 ampermalink
i was all smiles until the end. whata sad day. i wish you kept the 2nd to last one, shaved your head, keep a ponytail with a knife tied on at the end. woulda been GLORIOUS.
3.5
March 1st, 2011 at 11:32 ampermalink
I think we can all fundraise $101 (EXTRA DOLLAR!) a year for you to keep the beard in its full glory. Your move, Mickie.
nickodani
March 3rd, 2011 at 11:24 ampermalink
i think that $101 should go to me if I have to deal with pubes in my face.
Mickie
March 3rd, 2011 at 10:42 pmpermalink