my beard: a love story

Posted on Mar. 1, 2011 by geoffropuff

from approximately the time that kay delivered me the beardhead from tak, i started growing a real beard.  here’s the progression that it took from start to finish.

july 8 beard

july 8: no shaving for 2 weeks.

july 28 beard

july 28: some definite itching and scraggly looks.

august 1 beard

august 1: starting to look pretty cool with sunglasses.

august 21 beard

august 21: looking REALLY sexy with sunglasses.

august 23 beard

august 23: getting even scragglier but lovin' it.

september 8 beard

september 8: the peak of overall shagginess.

at this point, i got tired of blowing my nose and having snot and kleenex bits getting stuck in the moustache so i went with the goatee only look.

september 18 beard

september 18: pirate ship means pirate beard.

september 22 beard

september 22: by this time, pieces of food were regularly sticking in the beard.

september 24 beard

september 24: i really did have to resort to making a conscious effort NOT to get food in the beard. the teriyaki sauce on this dango woulda been bad news.

october 3 beard

october 3: classy event, even CLASSIER beard. actually, i almost shaved it for this event but i couldn't do it.

october 11 beard

october 11: it's really getting uneven and lopsided by now but on i truck(er).

october 23 beard

october 23: i began contemplating the beard as a warming device because disney was pretty cold that night.

october 31 beard

october 31: i ALMOST got it all in the rubber hair close to beard nirvana.

at this point, mickie made an ultimatum: trim the beard or no kissing.  i did what any self-respecting guy would do: trimmed it JUST to the point where she backed off the ultimatum but still kept some of it to make me feel like i was still in control.  i wasn’t.

november 5 beard

november 5: still eating in a way to keep food from getting in the beard, even though i didn't need to anymore.

november 13 beard

november 13: at this point, the beard is just a shell of its former, glorious self.

december 10 beard

december 10: i'm starting to get tired of the small goatee. give me a full beard or give me death!

december 23 beard

december 23: instead of either, i adopt the landing strip beard. good look, yes?

december 23 shave

december 23: in actuality, the landing strip was just something i wanted to try in the process of shaving the whole thing off.

you see, mickie had offered me $100 a year to shave off the beard and NEVER GROW IT BACK!  it was too good a deal to pass up so here we are at the end of this 6-month love story.  R.I.P. geoffrobeard: june 24~december 23

Subscribe to Comments

4 Responses to “my beard: a love story”

  1. The October 11th picture is intense. You look like you have a Jay Leno chin. I’d like to say I’m jealous, but after thinking about it, I’m not.



  2. i was all smiles until the end. whata sad day. i wish you kept the 2nd to last one, shaved your head, keep a ponytail with a knife tied on at the end. woulda been GLORIOUS.



  3. I think we can all fundraise $101 (EXTRA DOLLAR!) a year for you to keep the beard in its full glory. Your move, Mickie.



  4. i think that $101 should go to me if I have to deal with pubes in my face.



Leave a Reply